The "Perfect" Earth

life

I am going to let you know how I feel; I am not a lit or grammar master so be warned. Why do I always feel so alone ? Why am I mad all the time? And why the hell am I so good at covering it up? I need to find my place in this lame word. I’ve been trying for a while to figure it out, but I’m losing all hope. I’m kind of like a puzzle piece that doesn’t really fit into any puzzle, the one that is so close to being the one you need but ends up failing every time you try. Maybe I expect to much out of people? Maybe I just want a partner in crime, a trio like the three musketeers or even a group of people I can rely on and do anything with. Im sick of giving my all and not receiving anything in return. I’m tired of being myself, its not working. No I am not suicidal, no I am not depressed, I am just sick of being alone. I have learned to become my own best friend, enjoy being alone, and doing things for me but its gets lonely after a while. I know I have friends and all but to me something feels off. I am some how able to feel alone in a group of people. I want someone(s) who love having me around enough to call me/text me/randomly show up or just wonder how I am. Maybe I feel this way because I am starting to realize I am a good person and I deserve to enjoy the things everyone else does. Maybe I just need to find my rock(s) like Roseanne.

(even when i talk to people about it, no one truly understands what I mean)

Yes, I have my flaws like being opinionated, brutally honest,sarcastic asshole and all that but I only do it to the ones I love and I am not trying to be mean I just rather put it all out there than be fake.(I have had people stop talking to me because of this, but I guess they didnt actually care enough to understand what I actually meant or was coming from) I try not to take life to seriously and to have fun with everything because some people get the idea of what an “adult” is supposed to be and end up losing themselves and I love who I am. I have even been told I need some growing up to do, but honestly no one is in the position to say that to another, its just another way of saying “you need to change your not right”. WHAT IS RIGHT?!?!?! Some people think Im immature because of how I act and my interests, but growing up and being an “adult” doesn’t mean to become a totally new person, it means to learn and grow while staying true to yourself, and thats what im doing. Im going to make jokes, read comics, make faces and act like a crazy person because thats what I love to do. Adults are just kids that pretend like they know what they are doing. I have seen some lose their way because they have an image in their head of what they are supposed to be. People need to open their minds and stop being so narrow minded about everything, its not good for you. Maybe this is why I cant find my way…because I refuse to lose myself.

If your the person reading this and thinking, “what are you talking about?” “you don’t know what you are talking about” ”your delusional” or anything like that about what I just wrote, you don’t know me as well as you thought. You can even confront me about it.